<p>Building and exercising your negotiation skills is much like building and exercising your body. After lots of exercises and working out you think you are in shape.</p>
<p>Then an occasion arises that forces you to start using those lesser-used muscles and...Whoa! Where&rsquo;s the deep heating rub?</p>
<p>How can an Olympic weight lifter possibly race with a sprinter? How does the sprinter compete in bench pressing?</p>
<p>They&rsquo;re both athletes, they both train hard and they both develop their bodies. Yet they still come from different worlds.</p>
<p>So it is with negotiations. We can&rsquo;t be negotiating (or even arguing) in a different world from the other party. We need to find commonality, starting from a position of at least understanding each other.</p>
<p>We don&rsquo;t have to agree, but we must still appreciate the perspective of others if we hope to influence them to thinking more our way.</p>
<p>So the first dispute resolution muscles we have to work on are those skills that keep us fully focused.</p>
<p>We need to do our homework in advance. That might mean doing a bit of research or it may be as simple as anticipating why someone is reacting in a certain way. Others will only listen to us if we listen to them and can react intelligently to their positions or concerns.</p>
<p>That&rsquo;s a lot harder than we realize. Can you sense the pending ache of those unused muscles that are about to get a workout?</p>
<p>Focus and preparation are the muscles that will give us the perspective and control we need right at the starting gate. More on preparing for negotiating next week.&nbsp;</p>